Today was hard at home. My one hell of a brother usually snaps at me, and literally hates me for a lot of things. And my aunt who I live with also has a lot of negative vibes with me. Seriously I don't fucking know how to act in this little place I call home in the city. So with the little money that I have on this fine weekend, I decided to go out and have a date with myself.
Did I forget to mention that I'm single? Yes, my life of singlehood sucks.REALLY.I don't know how or where to find this guy, who can light sparks on my romance life. So, I left at almost6 o'clock, had a little stroll in my almost favorite place ( it's my favorite because it's nearer to my house). I also went to the local bookstore, to buy a pen and a highlighter to use at work. And I walked, and walked and walked again. The initial plan, was really to spend a late night at a cafe, just because I wanted to try it. The popular place (Starbucks, that is) was filled as usual. 2 branches that is!. Both were filled with people with friends and lovers. I guessed this was not a place for someone single like me. Apparently I knew of another place that was just around the corner, and I went to check it out. It was almost empty! Well, not really, there where a few people. An old man, alone, with his laptop; two college girls reviewing for some exam, maybe; a couple, reviewing also, well they were reading books that is; a group of teenage friends, with a laptop, they were too far for me to know what they were up to. So I went to the counter, and stared at the menu board for a good 2 minutes, it was my first time there, so I had no idea what on earth to order. I just had the Choco Macadamia Nut Chiller, because it sounded good. So when I got my drink, I went to this really comfy couch with a table, perfect for me.
And then it happened. Wasn't I looking around to well? Or I just saw past him? Oh well, right across me, was a guy, wearing a maroon hoodie, sinking his nose into his books as well. I felt differently, he had good looks, and believe me when I say good looks, nevertheless, he looked smart, which was obvious thru his pile of books. And the stalker that I was, I literally kept looking at him. So here I was, daydreaming again. If there was one thing I was really good at, it was daydreaming, sometimes i even think my daydreams are real. Well, when it comes to love, for now, all I've got are daydreams. So, yes, i started imagining things, that he'd come up to me to say hi. Know my name, talk about stuff, share a table, talk till dawn. Uh huh, ofcourse I was just imagining things, I was literally just so engrossed in him, he was just my ideal type. So, I started reading the book that I brought, Thief of Time by John Boyne, which was about a man who stopped growing old. Good for the man in the story, he never seemed to run out of love.
Ok so I literally got bored of reading, I started writing. Ok let me explain, I talk to myself through writing, it's just like talking to yourself, it's just that you write it..funny, but at least no one would mistake you for a crazy person.
Ok so, I seriously wanted him to come talk to me, I was praying for it. Yes that was how desperate I was, I didn't' want to look stupid and walk up to some guy reviewing for his exams. SO I spent some good 2 hours in there, just writing the time away. I then realized, was I watching too much love stories? or reading too many romance novels? or maybe I wasn't too physically enticing to make a complete stranger talk to me.
Or maybe, these things only happen in the movies. Although we locked stares 3 times, which gave me the chills, I still had doubts, that maybe he wasn't looking at me, maybe he just me caught me looking at him..get me? Well, after 2 hours of sitting and waiting, nothing exciting happened. Well, I still think about it, last night, what if I had the guts to go up and talk to him? You know that feeling of regret that you feel, up to the moment you wake up the following morning? Yes, I feel it, and it sucks.
Oh well, till next week..at the cafe.
xoxo
